Page 57 of 355
Re: Jokes & Funnies
Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2020 7:16 pm
by BadgerBeerIsBest
Mick goes into his barn and finds Paddy doing a striptease in front of all the farmyard machinery.
What on earth are you doing Paddy askes Mick?
Well Mick me and the wife are having some marriage difficulties and the guidance councillor told me to something sexy to attract her!
The JD Sports store in Liverpool is the only one in the country that has an 'Evening Wear' section.
Re: Jokes & Funnies
Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 1:39 pm
by SteveTheShadow
- 7A25E8F5-4779-4C8E-9286-8019A051FBAD.jpeg (52.08 KiB) Viewed 2693 times
Re: Jokes & Funnies
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 4:14 pm
by slinger
Re: Jokes & Funnies
Posted: Sun Oct 11, 2020 7:24 pm
by howardc1951
Nellie the elephant has tested positive for covid19. When asked where she got it she replied "trump, trump, trump."
Re: Jokes & Funnies
Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2020 8:34 am
by howardc1951
Winner of the world's most useless object contest: The 2020 year planner.
Re: Jokes & Funnies
Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2020 9:57 pm
by slinger
GUN DOG FOR SALE.
Re: Jokes & Funnies
Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2020 11:27 am
by Trevethy
- IMG-20201012-WA0010.jpg (62.3 KiB) Viewed 2374 times
https://photos.app.goo.gl/TcQ7LxepRiVLp34n9/img]
Re: Jokes & Funnies
Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2020 1:27 pm
by slinger
Re: Jokes & Funnies
Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2020 3:09 pm
by slinger
I'm going to place this in the "Jokes & Funnies" thread because if I don't laugh I'm going to cry, as they say.
Amazon Prime is, currently driving me up the wall. Long(ish) story as short as I can make it.
I ordered a couple of bits that were due to arrive on
Tuesday, today in fact. We'll call that
Parcel A. Next day I ordered something else which would arrive on
Wednesday, we'll call that
Parcel B.
It seemed daft having two deliveries so I decided to consolidate them and used the handy "Reschedule" button, changing the delivery of
Parcel A to
Wednesday, to match
Parcel B.
The next day
Parcel A had a big mauve "Undeliverable," next to it on my orders page. No explanation, just
Undeliverable, you'll get your money back, blah-blah-blah. They also insisted that the parcel was being returned to them. That would be the parcel that hadn't even been dispatched, right?
Anywho, obviously, I still wanted what should have been in
Parcel A so I reordered the contents of
Parcel A, and used Amazon's "Amazon Day Delivery" service and specified
Wednesday. We'll call the new parcel
Parcel C. Both parcels,
B and
C, are still now arriving on
Wednesday, right?
Not a chance.
Parcel B, originally slated for Wednesday is now out for delivery today,
Tuesday, and
Parcel C, with the Amazon Day Delivery set for
Wednesday now, says "Arriving
Thursday."
I give up
Re: Jokes & Funnies
Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2020 8:48 pm
by BadgerBeerIsBest
U2’s ‘The Joshua Tree’ was a follow-up to their albums ‘The Joshua One’ and ‘The Joshua Two’.
Phoned up Weight Watchers, and said, “it’s an emergency; can you send somebody round?”
They said, “yeah - we’ve got loads of them.”
I was in bed last night pulling my boxers off when my girlfriend walked in and said that I spoil those dogs.
