It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3 kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. Women blink 2 times as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balanc...

Crabbies ginger beer. Fancied something a bit different. The secret to a 'Mozzie' free summer. Badger (of course) do a beer called 'The Blandford Fly' with a bit of ginger in it, brewed for fishermen to keep them pesky little blighters away. The changing of the clocks does not only mean I let the w...

I see the Origami championships are on tele...
Unfortunately it's paper-view.

I saw a girl demanding the best table in a restaurant because she'd dated Guy Ritchie in the early 90s.
Pre-Madonna's, eh?

Steer clear of the new Asda dating service. If you're not careful, you'll end up with a bag for life

The wife keeps breaking the washing machine so I've had to get rid of her.
Washing machines last longer with cow gone.

Recently a celebrity came out as being gay, his wife had suspected as much as he had started using the back door more.

I had a racing snail that never won a race, so I removed his shell to make him more aerodynamic.
It just made him more sluggish

Thanks everyone for your posts its nice to know I not in a fan club of one!

U2’s ‘The Joshua Tree’ was a follow-up to their albums ‘The Joshua One’ and ‘The Joshua Two’. Phoned up Weight Watchers, and said, “it’s an emergency; can you send somebody round?” They said, “yeah - we’ve got loads of them.” I was in bed last night pulling my boxers off when my girlfriend walked in...

TINY DESK CONCERTS . At the moment its my favourite online music site, access either on YouTube or there own website, stripped back twenty minute concerts in the actual offices of the American NPR radio station. The story goes that two staff members were due to go to a local concert and at the last ...

Mick goes into his barn and finds Paddy doing a striptease in front of all the farmyard machinery. What on earth are you doing Paddy askes Mick? Well Mick me and the wife are having some marriage difficulties and the guidance councillor told me to something sexy to attract her! The JD Sports store i...

Hospital Doctor while doing his rounds asks an elderly female patient 'How long have you been bedridden?' after a pause she replied 'Why not since my husband was still alive'. A guy is chatting up a pretty girl in the local night club, and after a few drinks their conversation becomes a little more ...