A prostitute told me I could have sex with her for £10 as she didnt have a womb.
I asked how would we do it then?
She said, 'acwoss the woad against the wailings.'

Male Prostitute Rates For Female Customers:
£50 to talk dirty.
£100 to have sex.
£500 to listen.

Jokes about white sugar are rare, jokes about brown sugar Demerara.

I said to the Baker, “How come all your cakes are 50p and that one’s £1?”
He said, “That’s Madeira cake”

Assuming sound is determined by voltage and other electrical parameters, then size would not seem to make a difference. By way of an example If I botch up the soldering and only solder half the wire, I still get the correct voltage delivered. Assuming we are talking interconnects, the size of the c...

Woke up this morning and decided I needed a more original opening line for my latest blues song.

At any time, the temptation to sing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' is never more than a whim away.

Please excuse my lack of knowledge in all things electrical but does the physical size of the binding post, phono socket, whatever make any difference? I always thought Naim used Din plugs because the actual pins in the plugs weren't a lot different in size from the wire they were attached to. QED X...

If sex with three people is a threesome, I now understand why they call me handsome.

Apple are working on an electronic seeing device for the Navy, it's called the iEye Captain.

Fernando Alonso is back and teaming up with Apple to launch a new type of internet viewing software.
The ibrowse is expected to be a big hit.

'Coldplay. First 2 albums are quite good. Then I gave up.'

Could not agree more, the only good thing is it does not matter if you put the wrong disc in the wrong cover!

A Vicar stayed in a hotel for the night and told the receptionist; "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled..." To which she bluntly replied; "No its normal porn you sick f**k!" Naked girl standing in front of mirror & says to her fella "I look fat and ugly, now p...

Biffy Clyro - normally a bit of gallic influence does me well but this just leaves me cold. The National - All my friends like these but I still cant find a way in. Noel Gallagher / High flying birds - still raping Beatles back catalogue for a newer generation. Nick Cave - absolutely love 'the boatm...