Lindsayt wrote: ↑Fri May 21, 2021 9:37 am
My dream is to have a farm in Wales. It would be the best farm ever. It'd be a highly modified farm. One where I spent more on the modifications than on the farm itself. It would be the size of a large broom cupboard, but that wouldn't matter.
And then I'd go on farming forums and dissect the personalities of everyone that disagreed with my farming methods.
And I'd send the odd box of manure to those that annoyed me the most. Just to help them along and to educate them.
We would so envy your wonderful lifestyle. We would pay good money to see your pimped up farm, yes indeed. We wouldn't argue with you about farming though incase you banned us from your lovely farm. Your farm means more to us than our miserable little lives. We have never seen such a flock of subservient sheep. You must be very proud.
P.S We observe that you have been eating very wellof late. Fattening up is very much an important part of farming and you are leading an excellent example in that regard.
Our endless gratitude
PPS Although we know you know where we live, we do not quite understand the term " c*nt kicked in " Please could your holiness educate us on this matter.
PPPS Shit is a very important part of farming.
As you have already pointed out , your bullshit is the best there is and we your faithful flock all agree
But we are however a little bit concerned that you have a new high capacity muck spreader and have started spreading your modified bullshit on the Perfect Farming Monthly forum (that trade shilling publication known as PFM which is an equally interesting read as that other fine farming publication, Farmers Weekly).
We really enjoy the threads "dung heap pics 2021" and "reader's wives ". There are some classic, vintage piles of shit on there which the owners must be very proud of if they have gone to the trouble of posting lovely pics of it. We note that the well known and respected member of High Farming Society (HFS) know as antonio66 has been liking a lot of the dung heaps posted therein. We would advise that the most natural organic dung heaps are to be found on the respected High Farming Society site. Why anyone would feel the need to look at second rate dung heaps on Perfect Farming Monthly we don't really know.
You thought we had forgotten about reader's wives
The farming enthusiast can find it very hard to find a life partner. Often they tell themselves they are not interested in such things and lead a solitary, sad life and have to amuse themselves with copious amounts of diy
Then there are the farming enthusiasts who like their stock a little bit too much
And don't forget the ones in denial .
Who's got the biggest, most expensive tractor. This gets played out on lots of forums. You just have to have a John Deene else your street cred is shot to pieces and we can't be having that. Then there are the modified tractors which the owners are extremely proud of having spent stupid amounts of money on them. The terms sow's ear and turd polishing spring to mind.
Value for money has almost been forgotten about and us farming types are usually very adept with this. We seem to have lost our way and forgotten our tight fisted, tighter than a duck's arse in water ideals. If in such a predicament I would suggest consulting with the popular small holding enthusiast LindsayT.