A sudden loss.

[Latteman]

Hi guys and thanks for your concern. Did fall into a pit of exhaustion the last couple of days as the stress and strain of the last few years caught up with me.

Struggling with my own health problems as well but maybe that will clear itself up, now that I have some energy for myself left over.

The funeral went exactly as Jeannette would have wanted it. A summer's day, procession of about 100 people through the village where she had lived for 40 years. Buried in the cemetery under a pair of huge old trees that she always admired. There are several Stork's nests in them - and one on our roof so she'll feel at home

Afterwards we all came back and had a warm rememberance-party in the garden. A celebration of life. Friends and neighbours organised it, I didn't have to do anything.

Music, as always, has been my salvation and the Hifi a comfortable distraction (full review of new TT coming soon).

My presence might be erratic for a bit. It's time to pick up the pieces and get going again.

Best wishes to all.

[karatestu]

How are you doing Fret ? All the best to you.

[CN211276]

How are you doing Fret ? All the best to you.

Thanks for your concern, Stu. Things are starting to turn around towards a more positive direction.

Two of my sisters came over for a few days, hadn't seen them since before Corona. They pulled me out of the rut of simply Just existing as a carer and got me back to myself again.

Jeannette's long-term decline into Alzheimer's dragged me along with her and you don't realise how much of yourself you have sacrificed until you are released from carrying that load.

A lot of my ongoing health issues over the last couple of years can now be traced back to the exhaustion and stress of being totally responsible for someone else who is gradually fading away. It isn't fun and at times you are faced with a big, black pit of despair and desperation.

But I'm pulling out of that now, with time and energy to get myself back on track - at last. Although if it had gone on much longer I suspect my health would have been permanently damaged.

Family (both here and in the UK), friends and neighbours are being incredibly supportive and understanding. A warm bath. Also you lot here on HFS have played a role in keeping my sanity and spirits up - so many thanks to all!

It has been a period of being pushed to, and beyond, one's own limits. Of finding deep depths that you otherwise would never have seen. Learning lessons about what is truly important in life. Discovering how wonderful the friendship of others can be. Realising the essence of love.

[karatestu]

Hey Fret.

Glad to hear you are going in the right direction. Your post is very thoughtful and I can sense that you will be OK eventually.

I can totally relate to your past and current situation. I watched my mother slowly succumb to dementia and MS over a period of 22 years. It is so sad and draining. In my case I was nearly consumed by misery, utter despair and hopelessness.

There is life out the other end and it can be good, if you want it to be. You did everything you could and would have done anything to take it all away. You deserve to be kind to yourself and not feel guilty about living for you.

[slinger]

Thanks Stu!

My life - suddenly and quite dramatically - is taking a major turn for the better.

One chapter closes and a new one immediately begins.

[slinger]

My dad's 2nd wife died after a long downhill decline with Parkinson's. At her funeral my father was coming out with the "No-one will ever replace her" rhetoric.

A week later he joined a dating-matchmaking agency. It was marketed and priced as a high-end agency. If Linn Klimax was turned into an agency for introducing lonely (undateable or semi-dateable) people with more money than sense, this would have been it.

3 weeks after the funeral he was shacked up with the woman that became his 3rd wife... What a piece of work she was!

[slinger]

7 years ago yesterday (Sept 6th 2017) my wife died, and I truly don't want anyone else. Not that anyone else would put up with me, obviously.

[slinger]

7 years ago yesterday (Sept 6th 2017) my wife died, and I truly don't want anyone else. Not that anyone else would put up with me, obviously.

I guess I'm more like my dad. If I were to find myself single again, I wouldn't hang around getting someone else in.
Where I differ from my dad is that I'd never get involved with someone that's remotely like his 3rd wife. Nor his 2nd. Nor his 1st. For different reasons for each of them. Even though I love my mum a lot - in a son to a mother kind of way.