Written in Engbish I see!
Jokes & Funnies
- BadgerBeerIsBest
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
My girlfriend told me she thought she might be a lesbian because during sex she thought about other women.
"Well, I must be a lesbian too." I replied.
I was shagging a girl over the kitchen table when we heard the front door opening.
"That's my husband!" she said, "Quick, try the back door."
I knew I should have left before her husband caught me, but there's no way I was refusing an offer like that!!
I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said "You remind me of my little toe."
She said "Is that because I'm small and cute?"
I replied "No, because I'll probably end up banging you on my coffee table."
A man walks into a Welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer. The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him. "Where are you from? You sound English",
"I'm from across the Severn ," replies the man nervously.
"What do you do, just across the Severn ?",
"I'm a taxidermist."
"What on earth is one of those?".
"I mount animals."
"Its alright boys," shouts the barman, "he's one of us."
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.
My wife just got back from a medical check up where the Gynaecologist told her 'no sex for a month'. I asked her if the dentist said anything?
Police are looking for a rapist with honey, walnuts & filo pastry smeared on his face. The victim said he was wearing a baklava.
"Well, I must be a lesbian too." I replied.
I was shagging a girl over the kitchen table when we heard the front door opening.
"That's my husband!" she said, "Quick, try the back door."
I knew I should have left before her husband caught me, but there's no way I was refusing an offer like that!!
I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said "You remind me of my little toe."
She said "Is that because I'm small and cute?"
I replied "No, because I'll probably end up banging you on my coffee table."
A man walks into a Welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer. The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him. "Where are you from? You sound English",
"I'm from across the Severn ," replies the man nervously.
"What do you do, just across the Severn ?",
"I'm a taxidermist."
"What on earth is one of those?".
"I mount animals."
"Its alright boys," shouts the barman, "he's one of us."
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.
My wife just got back from a medical check up where the Gynaecologist told her 'no sex for a month'. I asked her if the dentist said anything?
Police are looking for a rapist with honey, walnuts & filo pastry smeared on his face. The victim said he was wearing a baklava.
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- karatestu (Tue Nov 24, 2020 7:27 am)
Don't gas my Badger........it's not Lager..!
- savvypaul
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
And, here's the antidote...
- These users thanked the author savvypaul for the post (total 2):
- slinger (Mon Nov 23, 2020 10:10 pm) • Stemcor1990 (Mon Nov 23, 2020 10:29 pm)
- slinger
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
This did, genuinely,. make me laugh out loud.
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- terrybooth (Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:01 pm)
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- slinger
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
Don't panic, guys, I've called the emergency services...
Amps - NVA P50, AP30, A40, Stanislav Palo Tube Headphone Amp BB 85
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Cans - Grado SR80, ATH-M50X
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- Rick4001
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
My stuff; Toshiba SR-370/Mission 774 /Ortofon Quintet Black, Cambridge CXC CD transport/modified Musical Fidelity X DAC/modified Musical Fidelity X10v3 tube buffer, Nakamichi CA5E preamp, Passive RVC, Proton AA-1150 DMC power amp ,Mordaunt Short Signifer on original factory stands, NVA LS5, Cambridge NP30 network player, Mogami with Neutrik RCA, Sennheiser HD650, 600, Koss Pro4 AA.
- Lindsayt
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- savvypaul
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
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Modded Lenco GL75 with Saturn arm, heavy custom plinth. Nagaoka MP500.
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Topping D90MQA and Topping D90SE
Audiolab 6000 CDT transport.
All NVA cables
Leak Stereo 20 & First Audio Classic Copper V2
Modded Lenco GL75 with Saturn arm, heavy custom plinth. Nagaoka MP500.
Nottingham Audio Hyperspace + heavy kit, + Origin Live Conqueror + Koetsu Black
Tom Evans Micro Grove MK2 MC phono
Bluesound Node2i (x2) both with latest power upgrades.
Topping D90MQA and Topping D90SE
Audiolab 6000 CDT transport.
All NVA cables
- slinger
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Re: Jokes & Funnies
- These users thanked the author slinger for the post (total 4):
- Fretless (Wed Nov 25, 2020 12:10 am) • howardc1951 (Wed Nov 25, 2020 12:57 am) • Rick4001 (Wed Nov 25, 2020 12:06 pm) • terrybooth (Thu Nov 26, 2020 8:02 pm)
Amps - NVA P50, AP30, A40, Stanislav Palo Tube Headphone Amp BB 85
Speakers - Monitor Audio Silver RX2
Cables - NVA LS1+LS3, SSC, Gotham S/PDIF, IBRA Optical
Digital - NAD C516BEE, SONY ST-SDB900 DAB TUNER, TEAC UD-H01 DAC
Analogue - Pro-Ject Debut Carbon Esprit SB, Graham Slee Gram Amp 2 Phono
Cans - Grado SR80, ATH-M50X
Speakers - Monitor Audio Silver RX2
Cables - NVA LS1+LS3, SSC, Gotham S/PDIF, IBRA Optical
Digital - NAD C516BEE, SONY ST-SDB900 DAB TUNER, TEAC UD-H01 DAC
Analogue - Pro-Ject Debut Carbon Esprit SB, Graham Slee Gram Amp 2 Phono
Cans - Grado SR80, ATH-M50X