Hi guys and thanks for your concern. Did fall into a pit of exhaustion the last couple of days as the stress and strain of the last few years caught up with me.
Struggling with my own health problems as well but maybe that will clear itself up, now that I have some energy for myself left over.
The funeral went exactly as Jeannette would have wanted it. A summer's day, procession of about 100 people through the village where she had lived for 40 years. Buried in the cemetery under a pair of huge old trees that she always admired. There are several Stork's nests in them - and one on our roof so she'll feel at home
Afterwards we all came back and had a warm rememberance-party in the garden. A celebration of life. Friends and neighbours organised it, I didn't have to do anything.
Music, as always, has been my salvation and the Hifi a comfortable distraction (full review of new TT coming soon).
My presence might be erratic for a bit. It's time to pick up the pieces and get going again.
Best wishes to all.
A sudden loss.
- Fretless
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Re: A sudden loss.
- These users thanked the author Fretless for the post (total 9):
- Latteman (Sun Aug 25, 2024 9:32 am) • karatestu (Sun Aug 25, 2024 10:07 am) • savvypaul (Sun Aug 25, 2024 10:23 am) • CN211276 (Sun Aug 25, 2024 10:27 am) • DaveyTed (Sun Aug 25, 2024 1:08 pm) • slinger (Sun Aug 25, 2024 1:12 pm) • SteveTheShadow (Sun Aug 25, 2024 1:20 pm) • Lindsayt (Sun Aug 25, 2024 8:16 pm) • guydarryl (Tue Sep 10, 2024 10:24 pm)
Upstairs:
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DigiDenafrips Ares II + Volumio PC + Cambridge CXC
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- Fretless
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Re: A sudden loss.
Thanks for your concern, Stu. Things are starting to turn around towards a more positive direction.
Two of my sisters came over for a few days, hadn't seen them since before Corona. They pulled me out of the rut of simply Just existing as a carer and got me back to myself again.
Jeannette's long-term decline into Alzheimer's dragged me along with her and you don't realise how much of yourself you have sacrificed until you are released from carrying that load.
A lot of my ongoing health issues over the last couple of years can now be traced back to the exhaustion and stress of being totally responsible for someone else who is gradually fading away. It isn't fun and at times you are faced with a big, black pit of despair and desperation.
But I'm pulling out of that now, with time and energy to get myself back on track - at last. Although if it had gone on much longer I suspect my health would have been permanently damaged.
Family (both here and in the UK), friends and neighbours are being incredibly supportive and understanding. A warm bath. Also you lot here on HFS have played a role in keeping my sanity and spirits up - so many thanks to all!
It has been a period of being pushed to, and beyond, one's own limits. Of finding deep depths that you otherwise would never have seen. Learning lessons about what is truly important in life. Discovering how wonderful the friendship of others can be. Realising the essence of love.
Upstairs:
VinylLogic DM101 + Grado MCX + Cambridge Alva Duo
DigiVolumio PC + Kiss DP-500 + Sabaj A20d
NVA: Cube2 + LS6+ Sabaj A10a (2) + Little Bear MC2
Downstairs:
VinylTEAC TN-4D-SE + Sumiko Pearl
DigiDenafrips Ares II + Volumio PC + Cambridge CXC
NVA: P50 (phono)Aiyima A07 MAX (2) + Arcam One
Bedroom: Allo DigiOne + Sabaj A10d + Kenwood KA-660D
Office: Allo DigiOne SIG + SMSL M300se + Douk G4 (x2)
Mission 760 + Monolith 887 + German Maestro GMP 450
- karatestu
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Re: A sudden loss.
Hey Fret.
Glad to hear you are going in the right direction. Your post is very thoughtful and I can sense that you will be OK eventually.
I can totally relate to your past and current situation. I watched my mother slowly succumb to dementia and MS over a period of 22 years. It is so sad and draining. In my case I was nearly consumed by misery, utter despair and hopelessness.
There is life out the other end and it can be good, if you want it to be. You did everything you could and would have done anything to take it all away. You deserve to be kind to yourself and not feel guilty about living for you.
Glad to hear you are going in the right direction. Your post is very thoughtful and I can sense that you will be OK eventually.
I can totally relate to your past and current situation. I watched my mother slowly succumb to dementia and MS over a period of 22 years. It is so sad and draining. In my case I was nearly consumed by misery, utter despair and hopelessness.
There is life out the other end and it can be good, if you want it to be. You did everything you could and would have done anything to take it all away. You deserve to be kind to yourself and not feel guilty about living for you.
DIY FREE ZONE
- Fretless
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Re: A sudden loss.
Thanks Stu!
My life - suddenly and quite dramatically - is taking a major turn for the better.
One chapter closes and a new one immediately begins.
My life - suddenly and quite dramatically - is taking a major turn for the better.
One chapter closes and a new one immediately begins.
Upstairs:
VinylLogic DM101 + Grado MCX + Cambridge Alva Duo
DigiVolumio PC + Kiss DP-500 + Sabaj A20d
NVA: Cube2 + LS6+ Sabaj A10a (2) + Little Bear MC2
Downstairs:
VinylTEAC TN-4D-SE + Sumiko Pearl
DigiDenafrips Ares II + Volumio PC + Cambridge CXC
NVA: P50 (phono)Aiyima A07 MAX (2) + Arcam One
Bedroom: Allo DigiOne + Sabaj A10d + Kenwood KA-660D
Office: Allo DigiOne SIG + SMSL M300se + Douk G4 (x2)
Mission 760 + Monolith 887 + German Maestro GMP 450
- Lindsayt
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Re: A sudden loss.
My dad's 2nd wife died after a long downhill decline with Parkinson's. At her funeral my father was coming out with the "No-one will ever replace her" rhetoric.
A week later he joined a dating-matchmaking agency. It was marketed and priced as a high-end agency. If Linn Klimax was turned into an agency for introducing lonely (undateable or semi-dateable) people with more money than sense, this would have been it.
3 weeks after the funeral he was shacked up with the woman that became his 3rd wife... What a piece of work she was!
A week later he joined a dating-matchmaking agency. It was marketed and priced as a high-end agency. If Linn Klimax was turned into an agency for introducing lonely (undateable or semi-dateable) people with more money than sense, this would have been it.
3 weeks after the funeral he was shacked up with the woman that became his 3rd wife... What a piece of work she was!
- slinger
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Re: A sudden loss.
7 years ago yesterday (Sept 6th 2017) my wife died, and I truly don't want anyone else. Not that anyone else would put up with me, obviously.
Amps - NVA P50, AP30, A40, Stanislav Palo Tube Headphone Amp BB 85
Speakers - Monitor Audio Silver RX2
Cables - NVA LS1+LS3, SSC, Gotham S/PDIF, IBRA Optical
Digital - NAD C516BEE, SONY ST-SDB900 DAB TUNER, TEAC UD-H01 DAC
Analogue - Pro-Ject Debut Carbon Esprit SB, Graham Slee Gram Amp 2 Phono
Cans - Grado SR80, ATH-M50X
Speakers - Monitor Audio Silver RX2
Cables - NVA LS1+LS3, SSC, Gotham S/PDIF, IBRA Optical
Digital - NAD C516BEE, SONY ST-SDB900 DAB TUNER, TEAC UD-H01 DAC
Analogue - Pro-Ject Debut Carbon Esprit SB, Graham Slee Gram Amp 2 Phono
Cans - Grado SR80, ATH-M50X
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Re: A sudden loss.
I guess I'm more like my dad. If I were to find myself single again, I wouldn't hang around getting someone else in.
Where I differ from my dad is that I'd never get involved with someone that's remotely like his 3rd wife. Nor his 2nd. Nor his 1st. For different reasons for each of them. Even though I love my mum a lot - in a son to a mother kind of way.