A sudden loss.

Forum for admin topics, member introductions and general non-hifi chitchat.
User avatar
Fretless
Posts: 9544
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:15 pm
Location: Somewhere in Holland
Has thanked: 1612 times
Been thanked: 2540 times
Netherlands

Re: A sudden loss.

Unread post by Fretless »

Hi guys and thanks for your concern. Did fall into a pit of exhaustion the last couple of days as the stress and strain of the last few years caught up with me.

Struggling with my own health problems as well but maybe that will clear itself up, now that I have some energy for myself left over.

The funeral went exactly as Jeannette would have wanted it. A summer's day, procession of about 100 people through the village where she had lived for 40 years. Buried in the cemetery under a pair of huge old trees that she always admired. There are several Stork's nests in them - and one on our roof so she'll feel at home

Afterwards we all came back and had a warm rememberance-party in the garden. A celebration of life. Friends and neighbours organised it, I didn't have to do anything.

Music, as always, has been my salvation and the Hifi a comfortable distraction (full review of new TT coming soon).

My presence might be erratic for a bit. It's time to pick up the pieces and get going again.

Best wishes to all. :guiness;
These users thanked the author Fretless for the post (total 9):
Latteman (Sun Aug 25, 2024 9:32 am) • karatestu (Sun Aug 25, 2024 10:07 am) • savvypaul (Sun Aug 25, 2024 10:23 am) • CN211276 (Sun Aug 25, 2024 10:27 am) • DaveyTed (Sun Aug 25, 2024 1:08 pm) • slinger (Sun Aug 25, 2024 1:12 pm) • SteveTheShadow (Sun Aug 25, 2024 1:20 pm) • Lindsayt (Sun Aug 25, 2024 8:16 pm) • guydarryl (Tue Sep 10, 2024 10:24 pm)

Upstairs:
Vinyl
Logic DM101 + Grado MCX + Cambridge Alva Duo
DigiVolumio PC + Kiss DP-500 + Sabaj A20d
NVA: Cube2 + LS6+ Sabaj A10a (2) + Little Bear MC2
Downstairs:
Vinyl
TEAC TN-4D-SE + Sumiko Pearl
DigiDenafrips Ares II + Volumio PC + Cambridge CXC
NVA: P50 (phono)Aiyima A07 MAX (2) + Arcam One
Bedroom: Allo DigiOne + Sabaj A10d + Kenwood KA-660D
Office: Allo DigiOne SIG + SMSL M300se + Douk G4 (x2)
Mission 760 + Monolith 887 + German Maestro GMP 450

User avatar
karatestu
Posts: 6090
Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:40 pm
Location: North Yorkshire
Has thanked: 1932 times
Been thanked: 1621 times
Great Britain

Re: A sudden loss.

Unread post by karatestu »

How are you doing Fret ? All the best to you.
DIY FREE ZONE

User avatar
Fretless
Posts: 9544
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:15 pm
Location: Somewhere in Holland
Has thanked: 1612 times
Been thanked: 2540 times
Netherlands

Re: A sudden loss.

Unread post by Fretless »

karatestu wrote: Sat Sep 07, 2024 6:47 pm How are you doing Fret ? All the best to you.
Thanks for your concern, Stu. Things are starting to turn around towards a more positive direction.

Two of my sisters came over for a few days, hadn't seen them since before Corona. They pulled me out of the rut of simply Just existing as a carer and got me back to myself again.

Jeannette's long-term decline into Alzheimer's dragged me along with her and you don't realise how much of yourself you have sacrificed until you are released from carrying that load.

A lot of my ongoing health issues over the last couple of years can now be traced back to the exhaustion and stress of being totally responsible for someone else who is gradually fading away. It isn't fun and at times you are faced with a big, black pit of despair and desperation.

But I'm pulling out of that now, with time and energy to get myself back on track - at last. Although if it had gone on much longer I suspect my health would have been permanently damaged.

Family (both here and in the UK), friends and neighbours are being incredibly supportive and understanding. A warm bath. Also you lot here on HFS have played a role in keeping my sanity and spirits up - so many thanks to all!

It has been a period of being pushed to, and beyond, one's own limits. Of finding deep depths that you otherwise would never have seen. Learning lessons about what is truly important in life. Discovering how wonderful the friendship of others can be. Realising the essence of love.

:pray:
These users thanked the author Fretless for the post (total 2):
CN211276 (Sat Sep 07, 2024 9:23 pm) • antonio66 (Sun Sep 08, 2024 6:11 am)

Upstairs:
Vinyl
Logic DM101 + Grado MCX + Cambridge Alva Duo
DigiVolumio PC + Kiss DP-500 + Sabaj A20d
NVA: Cube2 + LS6+ Sabaj A10a (2) + Little Bear MC2
Downstairs:
Vinyl
TEAC TN-4D-SE + Sumiko Pearl
DigiDenafrips Ares II + Volumio PC + Cambridge CXC
NVA: P50 (phono)Aiyima A07 MAX (2) + Arcam One
Bedroom: Allo DigiOne + Sabaj A10d + Kenwood KA-660D
Office: Allo DigiOne SIG + SMSL M300se + Douk G4 (x2)
Mission 760 + Monolith 887 + German Maestro GMP 450

User avatar
karatestu
Posts: 6090
Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:40 pm
Location: North Yorkshire
Has thanked: 1932 times
Been thanked: 1621 times
Great Britain

Re: A sudden loss.

Unread post by karatestu »

Hey Fret.

Glad to hear you are going in the right direction. Your post is very thoughtful and I can sense that you will be OK eventually.

I can totally relate to your past and current situation. I watched my mother slowly succumb to dementia and MS over a period of 22 years. It is so sad and draining. In my case I was nearly consumed by misery, utter despair and hopelessness.

There is life out the other end and it can be good, if you want it to be. You did everything you could and would have done anything to take it all away. You deserve to be kind to yourself and not feel guilty about living for you.
DIY FREE ZONE

User avatar
Fretless
Posts: 9544
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:15 pm
Location: Somewhere in Holland
Has thanked: 1612 times
Been thanked: 2540 times
Netherlands

Re: A sudden loss.

Unread post by Fretless »

Thanks Stu! :clap:

My life - suddenly and quite dramatically - is taking a major turn for the better.

One chapter closes and a new one immediately begins.

:grin:
These users thanked the author Fretless for the post (total 3):
karatestu (Sat Sep 07, 2024 8:58 pm) • slinger (Sat Sep 07, 2024 9:26 pm) • CN211276 (Sat Sep 07, 2024 10:48 pm)

Upstairs:
Vinyl
Logic DM101 + Grado MCX + Cambridge Alva Duo
DigiVolumio PC + Kiss DP-500 + Sabaj A20d
NVA: Cube2 + LS6+ Sabaj A10a (2) + Little Bear MC2
Downstairs:
Vinyl
TEAC TN-4D-SE + Sumiko Pearl
DigiDenafrips Ares II + Volumio PC + Cambridge CXC
NVA: P50 (phono)Aiyima A07 MAX (2) + Arcam One
Bedroom: Allo DigiOne + Sabaj A10d + Kenwood KA-660D
Office: Allo DigiOne SIG + SMSL M300se + Douk G4 (x2)
Mission 760 + Monolith 887 + German Maestro GMP 450

User avatar
Lindsayt
Posts: 4294
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:06 pm
Has thanked: 1172 times
Been thanked: 735 times
Nauru

Re: A sudden loss.

Unread post by Lindsayt »

My dad's 2nd wife died after a long downhill decline with Parkinson's. At her funeral my father was coming out with the "No-one will ever replace her" rhetoric.

A week later he joined a dating-matchmaking agency. It was marketed and priced as a high-end agency. If Linn Klimax was turned into an agency for introducing lonely (undateable or semi-dateable) people with more money than sense, this would have been it.

3 weeks after the funeral he was shacked up with the woman that became his 3rd wife... What a piece of work she was!
These users thanked the author Lindsayt for the post:
slinger (Sat Sep 07, 2024 9:26 pm)

User avatar
slinger
Posts: 9698
Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:30 pm
Location: The Garden of England
Has thanked: 5412 times
Been thanked: 3424 times
EUROPEAN_UNION

Re: A sudden loss.

Unread post by slinger »

7 years ago yesterday (Sept 6th 2017) my wife died, and I truly don't want anyone else. Not that anyone else would put up with me, obviously.
These users thanked the author slinger for the post (total 2):
Fretless (Sun Sep 08, 2024 8:09 am) • guydarryl (Tue Sep 10, 2024 10:26 pm)
Amps - NVA P50, AP30, A40, Stanislav Palo Tube Headphone Amp BB 85
Speakers - Monitor Audio Silver RX2
Cables - NVA LS1+LS3, SSC, Gotham S/PDIF, IBRA Optical
Digital - NAD C516BEE, SONY ST-SDB900 DAB TUNER, TEAC UD-H01 DAC
Analogue - Pro-Ject Debut Carbon Esprit SB, Graham Slee Gram Amp 2 Phono
Cans - Grado SR80, ATH-M50X

User avatar
Lindsayt
Posts: 4294
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:06 pm
Has thanked: 1172 times
Been thanked: 735 times
Nauru

Re: A sudden loss.

Unread post by Lindsayt »

slinger wrote: Sat Sep 07, 2024 9:31 pm 7 years ago yesterday (Sept 6th 2017) my wife died, and I truly don't want anyone else. Not that anyone else would put up with me, obviously.
I guess I'm more like my dad. If I were to find myself single again, I wouldn't hang around getting someone else in.
Where I differ from my dad is that I'd never get involved with someone that's remotely like his 3rd wife. Nor his 2nd. Nor his 1st. For different reasons for each of them. Even though I love my mum a lot - in a son to a mother kind of way.
These users thanked the author Lindsayt for the post:
slinger (Sun Sep 08, 2024 1:10 pm)

Post Reply