I think I understand, where you are coming from, but feel a need to disagree.
I really do believe that conflict is inefficient - in other words a waste of time and energy. I am going to try to explain why (it is here where DQ calls me "moronic and boring" - but as the Blues Brothers would say, "I've seen the light").
I am going to define conflict as :
Violent Disagreement. And violence leads well to violence. But let's start at the beginning.
We all have our presuppositions and our prejudices and all those things we take for granted. I am going to call those Our Priors. And I am going to assume that no two people share the same Priors. Of course there can be overlaps - but I think we would be astounded at how very little there actually is overlapped even in the same culture (or sub-culture). A corollary to my assumption is that no sentence is going to mean the same thing to two different people.
In other words disagreement is inevitable. If two people had exactly the same Priors (and wanted to continue to call themselves rational), then they could never disagree because the would use the information on their differences to eradicate their differences - either meeting somewhere in the middle or one of them capitulating. BUT no one shares the same Priors and no one is rational (though some do want to be called rational).
And this must mean that no two people can ever reach full agreement - because no one gives up their Priors without a fight - and even when the fight is lost - no one really gives up their Priors - they just go underground.
So it is futile to try to convince someone that they are in the wrong. The idea that "All your base are belong to us" is just plain wrong.
An active disagreement can be a fine way to clarify our thinking (or cloud it depending on our motivation), and it can also be a fine way to marvel at how other people think the world works. But it can not be used to change minds. And shouting the same words don't really help either.
And it is here where another of DQ's fine words come into play. Social Courtesy. That's what reduces all the friction between antagonistic Priors. There is never really Obedience, Compliance or Belief when violence is used. There is just the deadning by social courtesy.
I know, this can easily be accused of being Homo Hypocriticus. So be it. We do not own our own brains. And thus it is daft to fight and daft to watch fighting as it can only be "A tale. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing."