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As a personal aside, my wife (a lot older than me - now 75) is starting to go the same way. It is not a pleasant or easy process to be involved in.

karatestu wrote: ↑Sat Jul 09, 2022 7:23 am It's been a rough few weeks. My mum had a stay in hospital but came out a month ago. I love her so much it hurts. Unfortunately her recent troubles seem to have accelerated her dementia and she now is refusing food and drink. She is a shadow of her former self. This is going to break me, I am not strong enough to deal with this. She is an amazing woman and certainly does not deserve to suffer. Love you mum..

That's putting a far too negative a spin on things.

You are strong enough to cope with this. Because you're a human being. And whilst none of us can help what emotions we feel, we can all control how we act in response to those emotions.

As I'm writing this, tears are appearing in my eyes, because it's reminded me of certain highly disappointing and sad things that have happened in my life. But I know that when I've finished typing this post I will get up, have some breakfast, do some sewing, do some window frame painting whilst listening to 1970's albums on my Grados and mobile phone, make a salad, probably go to a barbecue and generally soak up the pleasure of being alive and in good health on this glorious summers day.
So overall I'll have a few minutes of feeling sad and several hours of feeling emotionally neutral or content today. I think that's a good enough deal.

I would expect the same sort of thing to happen to you, except in different proportions. Sad and disappointed when you think of your mum. Neutral or content when you're getting on with stuff and when socialising with people that you like or love.

From my experience with my dad...have realistic expectations, treat it as a process, enjoy the odd uplifting moment, as and when. My dad didn't recognise me, but we sang Irish rebel songs together. That made up a bit for watching him being fed through a peg in his stomach. YMMV.

Thankfully this is something I have never been through, but I feel for you Stu. From my experience in the Welsh Government health department I am aware that levels of this condition are increasing and affecting younger age groups, some in their early 40s.

Thanks for all your replies and support. I am going through the grieving stage already. Luckily I have two of my sisters here for support as well as my wife and kids. I am touched that so many of the people I know are offering support.

Mum will end her days at home with family around her and with the carers who have been looking after her for the last 15 years. Her problems started in 2000 after electric shock treatment on her brain for severe depression. The end will be peaceful I hope unlike my father who died in hospital. He waited for me to arrive before getting angry and, pulling all his tubes out. I watched him drown in his own bodily fluids (pneumonia).

Stu

I know it isn't much comfort, but the Good Book says not to worry about the things you cannot influence.

Easier said than done but it's really good advice.

I really wish I could find something positive to say, mate. I've got nothing. Sorry.

slinger wrote: ↑Sat Jul 09, 2022 2:17 pm I really wish I could find something positive to say, mate. I've got nothing. Sorry.

You don't need to, in this thread.

You've made enough contributions to the Jokes & Funnies thread to brighten anyone's day up.

When some aspects of our lives are shit, it's good to have a reminder that other aspects aren't too bad.

Again, like Mr Slinger, I can offer no advice except to say we all have a built in reflex to get over the passing of our parents, when you look back on her life and all the good things will come to the top. Take care and good luck Stu.

antonio66 wrote: ↑Sat Jul 09, 2022 2:55 pm Again, like Mr Slinger, I can offer no advice except to say we all have a built in reflex to get over the passing of our parents, when you look back on her life and all the good things will come to the top. Take care and good luck Stu.

Reflex ports? Not on your nelly! Sealed cabinets only!