Jokes & Funnies

[BadgerBeerIsBest]

If sex with three people is a threesome, I now understand why they call me handsome.

[slinger]

Courtesy of Dave Ruffy, of The Ruts.

[slinger]

Shamelessly nicked from Ian McCormack on Farcebook

(If Ronnie Barker was still with us)

And finally...It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few local businesses.
A local Bra Shop has gone bust.
A Mining Company has gone under.
A manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation.
A Dog Kennels has had to call in the retrievers.
An origami book company has folded.
An Aerial Installation company has called in the receivers.
A Key Company has gone into lockdown.
A Watch smith has wound down and called time.
An Iceland store has had its assets frozen.
A Shoe Factory has been soled and employees given the boot.
The Heinz factory has been canned as they couldn't ketchup with orders.
The tarmac company has reached the end of the road.
The bread company has run out of dough.
The laundrette has been taken to the cleaners.
The local strip club has gone tits up, Interflora is pruning its business and Dynarod has gone down the drain.
A paint manufacturer has gone insolvent
The pole dancing bar next door has had its assets stripped
A fisherman has been denied a bailout because he had no net profits
The painter who heard of the birth of his daughter tripped on a roller tray and was overcome with emulsion
The owner of the aerobatic flying display team was given a bailout
The following poor weather, the tree felling business has started pruning its branches
The glue factory has come unstuck.
the sewage works have gone down the toilet
The exorcism business has had all its assets repossessed
A Sumo wrestling troupe has gone belly up
The local firework manufacturer has gone bang.
The local fizzy drinks manufacturer has gone pop
The dairy butter firm has gone into meltdown
The Driving School has crashed
A ship carrying blue paint has collided with a ship carrying red paint in the English Channel. The crews were marooned
The local synagogue has breached its covenants
And finally, the AA Recovery Service are on their way to a breakdown.

That's all from me and.......
R.I.P Ronald William George Barker, OBE - 25 September 1929 – 3 October 2005.

[slinger]

[BadgerBeerIsBest]

Woke up this morning and decided I needed a more original opening line for my latest blues song.

At any time, the temptation to sing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' is never more than a whim away.

[BadgerBeerIsBest]

Wild West gunslingers went out of business when they started building towns that were big enough for everyone.

[TheMarlin]

[TheMarlin]

[TheMarlin]

[TheMarlin]