HiFi Subjectivist ¦ Audio Forum ¦ NVA User Group

Savvy's post on the alternative lyrics to Milly Small's 'My boy Lollipop' leads me to think that this may be a fertile, if somewhat scatological or downright rude, thread. So, at risk of expurgation, and a warning that I will stray into Cubby Brown land, here I go.

I'm sure many in this congregation will remember the alternative lyrics to various Christmas Carols

While Shepherds watched their socks by night
All hanging on a line
The angel of the lord came down
And said, "This pair is mine"

Or the evocation of sixties zeitgeist in

We four Beatles of Liverpool are
George in a taxi, John in a car
Paul on a scooter, papping his hooter
Following Ringo Starr

And talking about the Beatles, how about the version of 'You can't do that' which goes

I've got something to give you that might cause you pain
A six inch meat injection with a varicose vein.

In this world, nothing is sacrosanct, the theme tune of the always optomistic american TV series Casey Jones (about the driver of a steam locomotive - but you knew that) is rendered.

Master Bates, never heard of fornication
Master Bates, never dipped his tool
Master Bates, never heard of fornication
Thought a c*nt was something he was called at school

Sing along with the chorus now

terrybooth wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 10:28 am

We four Beatles of Liverpool are
George in a taxi, John in a car
Paul on a scooter, papping his hooter
Following Ringo Starr

This is the version doing the rounds when I was a young kid at scool.

We three kings of Leicester Square
Selling ladies under wear
So fantastic, no elastic,
Very unsafe to wear.

Whoah, black pudding, bam-a-lam (Ram Jam)

Ground control to Monty Don (David Bowie)

I'm your no.1 fan, I'm your Betterware man (Beautiful South)

All, courtesy of Nigel Blackwell, HMHB